Finding inspiration and divine providence in the midst of self-doubt
Friends, I want to share some #divineprovidence with you. This week (this article is written post-meltdown that occurred in May) has been some kind of awful for me and my family, and has left me wondering...Should I keep going?
We lost my "mom"-my beloved aunt- my mother's sister, on Mother's Day- a day I have struggled with since losing my mom in 2003. Other terrible things have occurred this week also, not the least of which, my feelings of extreme discouragement with continuing on with Greylily, to put it simply. I have been trying to "talk" myself into just cutting this part of my life out, and telling myself no one would even notice, and some would probably even say, "She's stupid for even trying it." Even the name: I have been mulling over, thinking people may be put off not understanding its significance to my children, and think it was just a depressing sounding flower. So, before allowing myself to sink into the dark spiral of writing it all completely off, I decided to just do a quick Google search to see what pinged back at me from a cold search.
I. WAS. STUNNED. I woke my (then) husband to tell him if this isn't divine providence, I do not know what is.
On doing the cold search, THE VERY FIRST THING that came up was an article, (the one shared below), stating that "Gray's Lily" is a very rare, endangered lily that (and this is the part that had me falling over!!!!!) ONLY GROWS RIGHT HERE IN OUR TINY AREA- ON ROAN MOUNTAIN!!!!!You could've knocked me over with a feather. Not only is it an exquisite flower that really exists, but ONLY RIGHT HERE WHERE I LIVE!!!! I have a renewed sense of hope for where the Lord is leading. He has showed out and up for us so much this week in absolute miracle moments. I will admit, I have had a few touch-and-go days, and have known without a single doubt in my mind that God has been carrying me- and my family. He is with us. And if He is with us, who then, can stand against us?
I am given the encouragement and strength to go on...one foot in front of the other...one day at a time, sweet Jesus. I am sharing this in this season (on the hind-end of the dumpster fire of 2020), to hopefully give some hope to you if you are feeling the discouragement I felt. And to offer encouragement in this season of life, that if you are called to something- and feel discouraged, just keep going...no matter how small...keep going. You are NEVER alone.